Cousin Vinny (and GM Howard?) Delivers Again

Yellowknife (CP) Vinny Damphousse is on fire; the cagey veteran potted his 5th goal in 2 games as he led YDP to a convincing 5-1 victory over the T-men. The win gave YDP its first winning streak in over a month. ‘There’s no time like the present to get on a hot streak,’ said Sakic.

YDP jumped out to an early 2-0 lead before the game was 2 minutes old, thanks to goals just 25 seconds apart by Sakic and Sykora. The Penetrator’s defense was suffocating as they held the T-Men to only 12 shots while their skating forced the T-men into taking various hooking and holding penalties. In the end YDP went 2-9 on the PP and limited the T-men to only 64% passing. ‘They’re struggling over there,’ said Hannan, ‘but they’re a proud team, I’m just glad we weren’t the ones that woke them up.’

Penetrator Nation has just learned that YDP management has called for a 10 am press conference tomorrow morning, where it is rumored that a major deal has been struck between YDP and a divisional foe. Sources close to the talks have confirmed that YDP has landed a top 6 forward.

Ima Dumass (CP)