Penetrator Sign Stars to Long Term Deals

Yellowknife (CP) With the trade deadline past and the draft still months away YDP took this opportunity to meet with the agents of Sakic and Brind’Amour to hammer out a long term deal. After a quick and painless meeting that last just over an hour (lawyers bill was a minimum of one hour) both sides agreed to long term deals that will see both players continue what they’ve started here in Yellowknife and that’s to win a King’s Cup.

When the dust settled no ordinary Joe agreed to a 3-year deal worth $14.1M including a $1.4M signing bonus, while dependable Rod agreed to a 4-year deal worth $12M including a $1.2M signing bonus. ‘We’re ecstatic that both players wanted to stay in Yellowknife, we have a good crop of kids coming up through the system and the veteran presence that Sakic and Brind’Amour brings can only make our franchise stronger,’ said Wong.

Known for being a thrifty team ownership opened the vault and made sure neither player reached unrestricted free agency this off season. Pundits suggested that YDP paid a premium to get both players but management obviously disagreed ‘We have two great leaders in Joe and Rod, they make everyone in the organization better, so why get into a bidding war when we can get the deal done now.’

With the signing out of the way, YDP can now focus solely on the on ice product as they try to capture their first division title in franchise history.
Ima Dumass (CP)

The Curse of Robert Esche

Yellowknife (CP) Boston has the Bambino, Chicago has Billy the Goat, Wilie Coyote has the Roadrunner and now Yellowknife has Robert Esche. YDP’s all time leader in every major goalie category was unceremoniously shipped off to the expansion Falcons at the deadline for impending UFA JS Aubin and journeyman center Manny Malhotra. When informed of the trade there was a large bang in GM Wong’s office with Esche storming out knocking over several garbage cans. On his way to the airport a furious Esche was heared shouting ‘I don’t care how many French goalies they have, you’ll never win with them, didn’t happen in Edmonton, didn’t happen in New York and it ain’t gonna happen here!’

Team officials had no comments about the tirade but did thank Esche for his loyal years of service and wished him luck in Cleveland. ‘Bobby’s a battler, this is why he’s been and will continue to be so good in this league,’ said Wong, ‘He just got caught in a numbers game here.’ Esche’s departure still leaves the YDP deep in net for now and next season. Garon is expected to be the team's number one for the rest of this season. ‘I’m very grateful for this opportunity and do my best to make the city of Yellowknife proud,’ said Garon.

Garon is expected to start against the Winnipeg Freeze tonight. In the past 5 divisional games YDP is 3-2 and allowed the Selects to leapfrog into the division lead. With 16 games left in the regular season YDP will have to hunker down and start winning if they hope to participate deep into the post season.

Ima Dumass (CP)