Unsung Heroes

Yellowknife (CP) After starting a franchise record 14 straight games, which saw the team go 7-6-1, Robert Esche was given the night off in favor of Mathieu Garon. Garon has struggled mightily this season going 2-4, with a 4.32 GAA and 0.839 save percentage, falling way short of management’s expectations. Despite playing 80 save percentage points lower than normal Garon delivered his best performance of the season as he saved 16 of 17 shots leading YDP to a much needed 3-1 victory over the San Diego Aviators. ‘Mathieu was great tonight,’ said Hannan, ‘he stopped everything asked of him and led us to victory.’ ‘The boys played really well in front of me tonight,’ said Garon, ‘and dominated every aspect of the game.’ YDP came out flying in the first as they out shot the Aviators by a 19-5 margin. Lost in the game was the Aviator debut of newly acquired Milan Hejduk and the brilliant play of Cristobal Huet. ‘I recognized a lot of old faces tonight,’ said Hejduk, ‘unfortunately for me they were all wearing YDP jerseys (referring to Sakic and Souray).’
Like most visitors to the I&S Mineshaft, goal number 1 is to shut down the big line of Damphousse, Sakic and Satan and the Aviators for better or worst got the job done. ‘We were shorthanded on the back end tonight,’ said Leetch, ‘but we employed the bend but don’t break rule against Joe’s line.’ Despite giving up 14 shots to them the big line didn’t register a goal. Fortunately for YDP, their newly acquired defensive trio of Morris, Kuba and Souray delivered 13 shots of the own and registered 2 goals to help seal the victory in front of a sellout crowd. ‘It’s a nice way to join a new team,’ said Souray after scoring the game-winning goal in his Penetrators debut. GM Wong was asked about the pace of his recent trades. ‘Well boys, the book of WWVD states that since we won tonight no one will get traded,’ smiled Wong, ‘can’t guarantee that tomorrow though.’ YDP has a huge tilt tomorrow night against the 4th place Edmonton Eagles as only 2 points are separating the clubs in a fight for 3rd place. The Eagles almost blew a 4-goal lead in Waterloo yesterday only to hold on to a 5-4 win. ‘Knowing coach Bourdeau he’ll have them ready,’ said former Eagle Mike Modano.

Ima Dumass (CP)

Roller Coaster Ride Continues!!!

Yellowknife (CP) After arriving in Yellowknife for literally a cup of coffee, Lehtinen was shipped to sunny Indianapolis for stud LW Alex Tanguay. Tanguay joined YDP in Washington as they faced off against the division leading Washington Defiance. For those with a short memory, Washington eliminated YDP in a 7 game thriller last year in the opening round after dropping their first two games at home. ‘Coming into this year every Washington was circled on the calendar,’ said Esche.
YDP came flying out of the gates but had nothing to show for as Andrew Raycroft stood on his head to keep it a scoreless tie. While YDP’s pace of shots dropped in the 2nd their quality of chances actually improved as they jumped out to a 3-0 thanks to goals by Bates and a pair by Sakic. Jamie Langenbrunner made it 3-1 intercepting an errant pass from Scott Hannan. YDP didn’t hold back in the third out shooting the Defiance by a 3-1 margin. The backbreaker came when newcomer Filip Kuba snapped a wrists shot passed Raycroft on a 5 on 3 PP. From that moment on YDP put it in cruise control and beat the Defiance by a convincing score of 5-1.
The boys felt extremely confident flying home to meet the Spartans of St.Albert as they were riding a 5 game unbeaten streak. But the Spartans had other ideas well Biron had other ideas as he stopped 37 of 38 Penetrator shots to lead his squad to a 3-1 win at the I & S Mineshaft.
The roller coaster ride continues as GM Wong is expected to announce the acquisition of Sheldon Souray to the Penetrators, making this his 3rd trade in less than a week. Lethbridge receives defensive standout Niklas Sundstrom, second year defenseman Josef Melichar and recently acquired super pest Tyson Nash, who was put on waivers immediately by the Selects. ‘It was tough to see Niklas go,’ said Wong, ‘but Sheldon will really solidify our backend, he can play in all situations and will give Magnus and Scott a bit of a breather.’
This marks the 3rd deal made by Wong in the past week. The usually thrifty GM has increased his salary by 1.3M while trading away some of the team’s future for a chance to succeed today. Only time will tell whether these moves were worth the price of their prospects.

Ima Dumass (CP)

Drunkin' Sailor Strikes Again

Yellowknife (CP) Penetrators have called yet another press conference for 10 am tomorrow morning, where it is expected that they will announce yet another transaction. Editorial 'It seems that everytime this team loses a game the trigger on a deal is pulled.' The Yellowknife media will yet again wait at the airport and see who the new player maybe. With the recent addition of Tanguay it is expected that the Penetrators will trade one of their left wingers, but for what?
Ima Dumass (CP)

YDP Lands Tanguay

Yellowknife (CP) The shock of the trade is still filtering through this sleepy town of 30,000 people. As if it wasn’t enough that management was able to land the all-star game earlier this week, but to top it off they pull off a blockbuster. After just landing in Yellowknife about 48 hours ago, Jere Lehtinen was told to pack his bags as he was shipped to Indianapolis along with a package of kids and in return YDP received Alex Tanguay. That’s right folks you heard right Alex Tanguay. The deal is as follows.

To 500s: Lehtinen, Berehowsky, Pock, Ruzicka, Voloshenko and $150K
To YDP: Tanguay, Kuba & T.Nash

Nash was immediately put on waivers and is expected to be given his unconditional release. All three prospects are currently playing in the AHL and having a wonderful season. Thomas Pock is average almost a point a game as a d-man, while Voloshenko is expected to garner tremendous support for AHL rookie of the year. ‘After trading Sean (O’Donnell) away the other day we needed to fill a hole on the left side,’ said Wong, ‘Filip is a great player and we’ll do our best to sign him to a long-term contract.’ Both Tanguay and Kuba are expected to join the team in Washington as they face the conference leading Defiance. I guess there’s no rest for the wicked.

Ima Dumass (CP)

How Sweep it is!!!

Yellowknife (CP) Fans greeted the newest Penetrators, Lehtinen and Morris, as they arrived at the Yellowknife International Airport. ‘I’m very glad to be here,’ said Morris, ‘I hear the entire Territory shows up to watch a YDP game.
For the 6th time this season, YDP faced the talented Gargoyles of Chicago and for the 6th time this season, the Gargoyles are searching for their first point in this season series that has totally gone one way.
Maybe it’s the food, or the water, or the dreaded curse of being ranked 1st in the Bourdeau report, whatever it is the Gargoyles have been unable to break the Penetrator’s defense and tonight was no different as YDP, lead by Robert Esche, scored another convincing victory over the Gargoyles. YDP finished the series off with a 6-0 record outscoring the Gargoyles by almost a 3-1 margin. ‘We’ve been very fortunate against them this season,’ said Esche, ‘they’re a great squad and will be a force come playoff time.’
While some may view Esche’s remarks as canned please consider the following: Chicago has a 0.625 winning percentage against everyone except the Penetrators, while YDP is playing 0.531 ball when not facing the Gargoyles.
While this is truly an anomaly, penalties got Chicago into trouble tonight as they gave up 9 PP opportunities to the 2nd ranked PP in the RHL. YDP capitalized on these chances by potting in 3 courtesy of the dynamic duo of Satan (18 & 19) & Sakic (24), Sykora and Lukowich provided the insurance goals to make it a 5-0 result. Tonight’s win allowed YDP to keep pace with the Edmonton Eagles who are just two points behind the Penetrators. YDP will continue to pile on the frequent flyer miles by traveling to DC to face the Defiance. ‘I’m so jacked for that game,’ said Hannan. The perennial 4 pointer could pull YDP to within 3 points of the Defiance or drop them back to 7 points.
Ima Dumass (CP)

Penetrators steal Lehtinen and Morris while Stingers steal point

Grande Prairie (CP) Rumors about an impeding trade spread like wild fire through YDP’s optional morning skate. With so many veterans taking the morning off everyone that wasn’t on the ice was rumored to be leaving. The media hoard (including yours truly) waited patiently at Grande Prairie’s International Airport hoping to get a glimpse at the potential new arrival. As filing time got closer and with no new arrival, we all attended the rescheduled press conference where it was revealed to us at 4:30 pm local time that YDP had dealt defenseman Sean O’Donnell, Barrett Jackman, prospect Mark Stuart and a pick to the Stingers for Jere Lehtinen, Derek Morris and several picks. ‘I was called into coaches office before pre-game skate,’ said Lehtinen, ‘coach say go to road dressing room, you’ve been traded for d-man and kids, oh and by the way bring Derek with you.’ ‘The news was a shock to me,’ said Morris, ‘both of us just signed a long-term deal here in GP, but I’m thrilled to be heading to Yellowknife.’
This is YDP’s 3rd major deal of the season, where they've landed the likes of Sakic, Modano and now Lehtinen and Morris. The phrase ‘go big or go home’ has been used to describe this normally tight wallet team. ‘Barrett and Mark are helluva prospects to trade away and Sean was great for us both on and off the ice,’ said Wong, ‘but it’s not everyday you get a chance to land Jere Lehtinen and Derek Morris.’ Morris will see PP time while Lehtinen is expected to line up with long time linemate Mike Modano from their Eagle days.
After the excitement of the trade had settled down, we still had a hockey game to play. The already over extended Scott Hannan was expected to play an even bigger role after the departure of both Jackman and O’Donnell and he delivered a great performance potting 2 goals and a helper for a three point performance. While normally this would garner him a first star selection, Rick Nash of the Stingers had other ideas as he scored a hat trick to help GPS earn a deserving 4-4 tie. GPS beat YDP 3-1 on special teams and survived a late power play by YDP with 41 seconds left in the 3rd period. While the result was disappointing YDP was able to fire 40 shots at Giguere and owned the faceoff circle. The dynamic duo of Sakic and Satan was a combined –4 tonight while logging close to 25 minutes each. YDP will now fly home and face the always tough Gargoyles tomorrow night. ‘We can’t be giving up 2 goal leads in the 3rd,’ said Wong, ‘but there’s no time to sulk, big game tomorrow night.’
Ima Dumass (CP)

Cousin Vinny (and GM Howard?) Delivers Again

Yellowknife (CP) Vinny Damphousse is on fire; the cagey veteran potted his 5th goal in 2 games as he led YDP to a convincing 5-1 victory over the T-men. The win gave YDP its first winning streak in over a month. ‘There’s no time like the present to get on a hot streak,’ said Sakic.

YDP jumped out to an early 2-0 lead before the game was 2 minutes old, thanks to goals just 25 seconds apart by Sakic and Sykora. The Penetrator’s defense was suffocating as they held the T-Men to only 12 shots while their skating forced the T-men into taking various hooking and holding penalties. In the end YDP went 2-9 on the PP and limited the T-men to only 64% passing. ‘They’re struggling over there,’ said Hannan, ‘but they’re a proud team, I’m just glad we weren’t the ones that woke them up.’

Penetrator Nation has just learned that YDP management has called for a 10 am press conference tomorrow morning, where it is rumored that a major deal has been struck between YDP and a divisional foe. Sources close to the talks have confirmed that YDP has landed a top 6 forward.

Ima Dumass (CP)

Yellowknife Lands All-Star Game

Yellowknife (CP) It’s time for the annual celebration of the players that make the RHL tick—it’s all-star time! For the first time in the history of the mid-season classic, it will be Champions vs. Premier in a battle for the right to be called the top conference in the league.

Also making its debut in RHL15 is the selection of a host city for the game and accompanying festivities. The RHL15 all-star game will be heading north, way north, to the I & S Mine Shaft in Yellowknife.

“This is the biggest thing to hit Yellowknife since the start of the Bush King contest at the Caribou Festival," beamed jubilant majority owner of the YDP, Howard Wong. "This will be the best hockey the Arctic has ever seen, and I'll be sure the rooms are clean at the Northern Lights Motor Inn for everyone coming to town."

Selection for the host city of the RHL15 allstar game was fierce, with the final tipping point for the committee rumored to be a personal shipment of product from the Mine Shaft's corporate sponsor, Polar Bear Diamonds, to the wives of committee members. Wong dismissed the rumor as "spin from the league's power base in the Edmonton region upset at not being selected.”

It was later revealed that the Penetrator organization planned to use the diamonds as gifts to league officials and players participating in the game. Rumors circled the media scrum that Penetrator officials chose the Oiler’s jeweler instead of the Eagle’s jewelers to design the ring, which caused quite the stir in media hotbed Edmonton. Sources close to the games confirmed that the Oiler jeweler was commissioned because of their experience. ‘Look when was the last time the Eagles needed their ring guy,’ said Source, ‘we just want the best, we could have included Calgary, Vancouver and even Toronto but when was the last time any of them needed their ring guy?’

YDP’s ‘Automatic’ line of Damphousse, Sakic and Satan were all listed on the all-star ballot for the Premier Conference. Left off the list was defensive standouts Scott Hannan and Frantisek Kaberle. ‘There’s only so many spots to go around’ said Frantisek when asked about his exclusion from the ballot, ‘I’m happy for cousin Vinny, Joe and Miro, they really deserve it.’
Ima Dumass (CP)

Cousin Vinny Delivers

Winnipeg (CP) After blowing a 3-0 lead to the Reapers last game, YDP wasn’t about to make the same mistake twice. The boys in yellow faced off against the Freeze and jumped out to an early and commanding 3-0 lead just 6 minutes into the game as Satan and Damphousse capitalized on giveaways by Odelein. After a timeout to calm the boys down, Lang decided to take matters into his own hand and closed the gap to a one goal lead (4-3) just 7 minutes into the 2nd period. Brind’Amour and Damphousse restored YDP’s 3 goal lead midway through the second and paced YDP to an 8-4 victory.

‘Too many giveaways,’ said Coach Bailey, ‘it seemed that every time Lyle touched the puck he gave it away and they’d score.’ Odelein probably had the worst game of his career as his 5 incomplete passes resulted in 5 unassisted goals, a new YDP record. Odelein was not available for comments, but Freeze officials did confirm that he was ‘rewarded’ with a bag skate for his efforts which started immediately.

YDP’s good fortune spilled off the ice tonight as RHL central announced that it has awarded Yellowknife the RHL15 all-star game. NWT royalty and native son Geoff Sanderson will be among the honored guests that will accompany Commissioner Paul Myers, YDP Owner Howard Wong and RHLPA Executive Director Ura Dumass (no relation to this reporter) in the owners box for this game. ‘We are very pleased and thrilled to play host to this great event,’ said Wong, ‘spare no expense will be our slogan as Yellowknife welcomes the world.’

Ima Dumass (CP)